When I was little I thought I could see particles. Atoms actually.You know when you have those dots drift in your eyes, and they aren’t quite there, but they still are? Those. I was certain that I was some magic, scientific seeing machine. I never told anyone because I was afraid that they would take me away (“they” being the government) for the purposes of “military secrets”.
Today, as I slipped and fell and landed face down in a pile of slush, my fall and frostbite broken only by the Cinnamon Dolce Latte I managed to toss at my face and then at the ground before I bit it, I realized that as we get older what we think we see (atoms), and even what we actually see (black ice) – changes. Not in how we see things- of course my enormous simul-crush on Wesley Crusher and Stevie Nicks has evolved – but what we actually see. I have been so busy, so stressed, that I haven’t seen the incredible goodness in my life lately. Things like: having buck teeth means it looks like I have fuller lips. Having one foot larger suddenly get bigger than the other means Payless is a friggin’ goldmine. Dropped my gum in the snow? TADA! Gumsicle. Alright, so perhaps I didn’t think all of that as I was wondering what exfoliating properties road salt may have on my skin, but it was soon thereafter.
So, in no particular order – 6 things that were truly good in the past couple days.
1) I read a beautiful academic work called “The Controversy about Marx and Justice” by Norman Geras. So incredibly stunning, so well written, so perfect was this paper that at the end, reading the conclusion – I cried. Like, flat out tears running down my face heart warming tears. Reading it was like getting a brain massage. A touching, beautiful, honest, poignant brain massage.
2) I spent the evening tonight with my oldest friend, and I bought a little plant (see above). I am unsafe to have around animals, babies and generally anything that performs some sort of respiration or osmosis, but I have faith I can keep this little buddy alive. It makes me really happy.
3) I had a meeting with my editor and the art director today and it went so well. There were so many good ideas, so much incredible creative energy, so much encouragement and trust and excitement that my bones were buzzing when I left. I’ve been trying to turn to more creative pursuits lately, something I truly love – and it is paying off.
4) I aced (literally.. 4.0) a really tough exam. And, as my proff waived me down in the hall today to tell me I got the highest mark, instead of playing it off, I said “Yes, I studied very hard, and I’m glad that it showed!” and felt very proud of myself.
5) After 7 days of reading and stress, I wrote the thesis that will consume my life for the next 2 months. And was really, really happy for the 7 days of reading and stress when it all came together at 1am last night, looked back at me from the computer screen, I eyed it down, and we were both ok.
6) To the ladies who have been sending me super encouraging, hilarious, inspiring e-mails of late, be it concerning the state of their ice cream addiction, our mutual secret love of Journey, the inside scoop on Boston, our mutual secret forbidden love of each other, their adventures in France… Thank you. Without your humor and encouragement, all I would get in my inbox are assertions that I have yes indeed been married to a Nigerian Princess and won the Irish National Party lottery, but who cares because BHP is offering me a fabulous job and I can have an enormous stimulus package in my pants in 5 minutes, if I only send them 100$/my soul/my passport or Ester, my small Jewish niece. Considering you beat that out – you must all know how damn awesome you are.
Ok. Now I can go back to being a sarcastic old bag. But ya’ll like that anyways…Happy Tuesday.
*Alternate titles for this post:
“THAT Wesley Crusher”, “Down and Out on Jasper and 101”, “Another one bites the dust.. and likes the taste. Cinnamony. “