My rosebush died. I’m just going to throw that out there as a precursor to this post. No – it didn’t die. Little Miss Black Thumb was all like “Hey, I bet you like sun little lady! I’m going to put you in the sun! Right here, where the sun reaches you so perfectly!”
On the radiator.
I literally had fried roses when I came home. Roses so dry and parched that when I shrieked and ran the poor thing to the sink to attempt some drastic triage like a deranged tree surgeon (cut off the most damaged buds!! pinch off the dry leaves! )… the damn thing steamed.
Steamed ladies and gentleman. I steamed my rosebush.
If there was a metaphor for how this week is going – I think that just about sums it up. Everything holy profaned my friends, to use a good quote badly. SOS, we’re in the weeds.
However, it is highly comical and endearing, right? The fact that I went to a fashion show with so much back cleavage I couldn’t tell if people were coming or going? A show so horrific, where one model burped (I can only assume) because SHE ATE THE OTHER MODEL? Where I saw more ass and thigh than at a donkey’s fried chicken competition?
How about that time when there was nothing left to eat in the house last night, so I had a fried egg and half a pound of Cadbury mini eggs? Or the part today where I decided that I would be healthy and have a smoothie for lunch, gave up and had a cigarette as well, and promptly burned a hole through said smoothie cup spraying myself with nicoteen flavored strawberry sunshine? Huh?
It’s my goal to make you feel better about.. well. anything. What would you do without me?
Well, you might not have as many places to spend your money! I was in a bit of a funk at work (despite being guaranteed full time work this summer.. ! yay! I had eaten too many lemon squares.. I think I was on my way to a diabetic coma..) and was perusing floral jumpsuits on eBay (yes? no?) and found this truly lovely little shop The Modern Nostalgic. I’m always a sucker for a well designed logo/banner, but sometimes it just doesn’t pay off in the clothing.. This one totally does. For instance (and I’m bidding on this.. back off)…
Leave it for the girl who steamed her rosebush hey? Have a lovely Wednesdays baby cakes.