Dearest Readers. A long time ago I suggested Jared do another guest post. Last night he grumbled at my computer and asked me how he could make a new “thing” on my blog. I said magic. But he figured it out. *sigh* Voila, here’s Jared.
There’s a lot to the enigma that we call women. I haven’t quite cracked the case but I do know some great things about Andrea that you may not know. lets say 5 of them, just enough to give you some great new things to talk to her about and not enough to leave nothing to the imagination. Right? Right.
1.She Stares at Homeless people
Not only homeless people exactly…but strange people/ghetto messes that most people try to avoid eye contact with. You know when you drive by a car accident and can’t take your eyes off the wreck? Thats kind of what she tends to do everyday with dodgy people. This is one of the dangers of conducting our favorite pastimes, people watching.
2. She Cries at (almost any) media
Anything from movies, TV shows, songs all the way to commercials. It’s not unusual to cry in a movie and I’m sure I’ve shed a tear or two at any “Land Before Time” movie. But Andrea sees a certain level to most things that I don’t. And it’s often at the climax to a movie. (The one exception was the new Star Trek movie.. First scene.. no lie. She almost had to leave the theatre) I’m pretty sure she does it so that I can feel nice and manly and hold her close after each movie and let her know it’s ok. Clever girl.
3. She Says Great Things at the Cusp of Consciousness
I’ll be the first to admit that she is funnier than I am. But she’s funniest the very moment she falls asleep. That’s when the real gems get spit out! Such as “But I’m too tall to be a jockey!” or “I’ve been out to sea for a long time!” They are often one liners followed by 2 or 3 seconds of confusion immediately followed by “I think I did that thing again”, followed by giggles and naps.
4.She Listens to Queen Every Day
I don’t know the exact day she started doing this, or what triggered it. But I recently discovered this. Any time we travel together on buses we carry a headphone splitter with her iPod. Usually we listen to a few things, some Roots here and some D’Angelo there. But one day I remember sitting there and out of my headphones comes “OOOOHHHHH You gonna take me home tonight… Fat bottom girls you make this rockin world go round!” I asked her about it and she said “This is what I listen to everyday when I bike to work” with the “Let me tell you a secret” expression on her face. Ever since then I always picture her riding her bike with the complete freedom that only Freddie Mercury can provide while silently lip syncing “Don’t Stop Me Now”
5. Tiny Fists of Fury
Andrea and I established a joke very early on in our relationship concerning a “kill switch” in our neck. Every time we wrestle she takes a good wind up and launches a punch straight to my neck, never hitting my shoulder or my head.. straight up, my neck. Her ability to scope the perfect spot to hit me on the neck every time in flawless form is uncanny to say the least. And the only reaction that I can in good conscience produce is to play dead. She deserves it. Scares her every time. Also her fighting spirit while being bear hugged by me is definitely not for the faint of heart. She seems to have adapted to my body with the new technique of whipping her body back and forth (not unlike a fish) until I’m forced to let her go…Only to be hit in the neck moments later.
Hopefully that gave you a look into the lighter side of this amazing writer and overall sweet girl that we all know and love. She has many great unique things about her and these are only 5 of them that I find funny. But trust me when I say you won’t meet a more compassionate, unique and thoughtful person in your life. So try to find out a few new things for yourself!
Andrea: *Sniffle*…. *punch*