Music Monday

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flat out.

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Oh no, I’m still here dumplings. I am just running as fast as I can, trying to get through the next 3 days until my day off on Monday. I’m sorry it’s been so quiet – when I get home I just can’t bring my self to blog. You see, at 11 pm my fingers don’t work, as the kitchen can attest to when I put in an order for “Nachos – No Jalepenis” last night. *chuckle* All my love, have a fabulous weekend, things should return to lesser shade of crazy next week. xo

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Music Monday

Well, at the very least I now have my dance moves for the next month of Saturdays. Sorry things have been quiet around these pages darlings… things in the works.. things in the works… xo

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bon weekend

{me}

Cupcakes, have a lovely weekend. I’m off to work, sleep and dance with my lady friends. Jared is away in Tatamagouche this weekend, so I’m left to wallow in plates of 1/2 eaten food and photography manuals. Bliss. xo

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to targets.

{Kenneth Noland}

{This post is Part II of my New Years Essay. To read part one, jump over here.}

In my living room there is a great wall of books. And behind the rows and rows of books of great and ill repute, there are slightly smaller and thinner stacks of journals. Moleskines, plain and black, some bulging and some slim, are lined and piled and hiding behind better stories than mine. They are filled with pressed flowers, spare pearls, polaroids, drawings, pages washed clean with tears, pages with words that gouge into the next three. There are moleskins still stained and gritty with sand from India, one that smells of the perfume I wore in the galleries in Washington, one filled with the wonder of being so in love, some that stop halfway through and never pick up again except with crossed out lines and smudges.

There is no way to tell their chronology except by the list that occupies the first few pages of each journal. In an effort to have a consistent way to start each new, fresh and dauntingly perfect black book, I began copying a list into each one. It was a list of things that I wanted to do in my life, amended, appended and added to each journal, items crossed off and dated upon their completion.

I’ve gathered all my crumbled post it notes, soggy napkins and journal pages up in front of me tonight baby loves. I’ve laid them out, arranged them here and there, took out “drive to Alaska”, “have a baby” and “make my own candy canes” as items not contributing to this years resolution.* I’ve looked at the little things I want to do, the big things, and I’ve boiled them down to a choice few that will take me through this next year, and hopefully contribute not only to what I want to do in my life, but who I want to be.

Without any apology, these are not BIG things. There is plenty of time in the months and years ahead to do big things, to lay big plans, to make things happen. What I hope is that with these small choice things being completed month by month, I will become the braver person who can do those bigger things without hesitation. Hell, if finally making a good lemon tart and sewing a summer dress gives me the courage to book a ticket to Africa/Russia/Mississippi, there is no harm done here. There will be 12 months of 12 Goals, carefully chronicled along with my regular shenanigans. **

(*nervous stalling* Did I just use a capital G on Goals?)

Ok.  Here we go!

{January} – Tricked you. This one is a surprise! January’s resolution is definitely underway, and has been for about 12 days. I’m really excited about this one – lets just say that it helps me with my goals of reconnecting to a community, supporting and fostering other artists, being honest about my love of writing and a place to exhibit it, and tie that sucker up with a big bow of “looking my best” in all areas of my life. And surprisingly, this one has little to do with Interpretive Dance.

{February} – Try one new recipe a week/photograph and blog it! This month is a twofold resolution. First and foremost it’s about reconnecting to how much I love to cook, and consciously being aware of what and how we eat. We’re both really interested in taking the time to sit down at a table, talk, enjoy our food and each other. We have an incredible amount of talent, food resources and inspiration around us here in the Maritimes, and I want to be able to take advantage of it. What is perhaps equally as important to me is sharing the love of food that my family, and largely my mom, has cultivated in me – which is where sharing it with you comes in! Committing to reviewing and publishing it means that in some small way, I get to have you at my kitchen table with me.

{March} – Take one intentional photo per day for 30 days. This is a “Don’t know until you try” resolution. I love my camera, love it so much that I want more. Flashes, lenses, new bodies. But in order to justify purchasing another camera or more equipment, I want to know that my abilities will extend to meet whatever technology I put in my hands. It’s been a long time since I took the time to actually learn a craft more than haphazardly or fleetingly. Photography is something I love so much, and use so little with intention.

{April} – Sew, and wear, two pieces of summer clothing. My grandmother that passed away this summer was a maverick with needle and thread. We all have gifts of quilts from both her, and her mother (my great grandmother) constructed with everything from old woolen jackets and air force uniforms to the softest cotton sheets. These quilts keep you warm in ways that only grandmothers and their craft can. I want to construct something for myself, perhaps nothing with as much weight or significance, but something that stitches me to them and their abilities in the same way.  This is a small step to knowing and feeling my history, and carrying it with me – light or heavy.

{May} – Commit five random acts of art in my town. This task will definitely fill the badassery quotient in this years resolution plan. (And will be further defined once we reach May). I have moved so many times in my life, and sometimes, other than the people that I’ve met in the places that I’ve lived, I feel like I pass from city to city and town to town without leaving any indication that I was there. It must be that as I get older I’m looking to leave some sort of flaming Z in the wall of the places that I go. Yes, I referenced Zoro. I figured a resolution involving random acts of art  was the place to do it.

{June} – This one is also to be announced. It’s a bit of a venture, a little  bit of a reach, a tiny bit scary and more than a little bit time intensive. But it is also delicious, and I’m really really excited about this one.

I’m going to leave it there for the time being, lest you all suffer from blogscrolleritis and swear never to return to cheer me upon the journey. But this is where I’m starting! I’ll publish the others in the next little while, though I’m going to leave wiggle room for change… in the event whatever I sew rips down the hiney or my oven implodes.

So sweet tarts – there is the start.

Here is to targets!

*Unless I were to attach the modifiers “in the face of bears”, “and push a watermelon through the eye of a needle” and “become irreparably single” to my resolution “be braver”.

**Have you seen the flickr stream lately? Apparently I’ve turned into an 18 year old gurl. I played beer pong. WTF. I collect books. And stamps. And sometimes dust from when I don’t leave the house on a regular basis. And I found out I’m really good at beer pong, a fact that had to be related to me later due to little to no recollection of said game.

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to aim.

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I’m not sure when it happened, but it appears during the course of ensuring our kids would be taught how to write a cheque and how to use a condom, we stopped teaching them how to write. We teach them how to spell, we teach them both print and cursive, we teach them which witch is the right witch. We teach them all about the logistics of shooting an arrow, without ever teaching them the importance of aim.

I do not mean that there is a lack of inspiration, of passion, of style and depth to the writing that is produced, there is more passion than I have comma splices. The quiver is full of sharpened arrows of metaphors, similies, framing narratives and style sheets ready for scattered deployment into short stories, essays and poems. It is the determined voice, the sure words and the beautiful logic of aim that I want, it is the intent over the style.

I had the pleasure of having a genuine asshole as a thesis advisor. For years previous to that thesis work, he’d hand back essays  I’d worked myself into delirium over with one single red mark on the front. “Thesis?”.  I’d work, slave, edit, print, re-edit, put myself and my heart into these essays without ever stating, and sometimes ever knowing, what that force was directed by or to. Thesis statements, he instructed, tell the reader what they should expect, it tells them what the writer will attempt to do, it tells them what the writer will prove and it will tell them, if they look closely enough, who that writer is.

That professor helped me see the value of structure, the value of stating your intent and your passion as one unified voice, in one unified statement. He taught me that without a guide to reflect back on and true your course by, you were lost. That no matter how eloquent your words, how strong your passion, how beautiful your similes, that you were aimless. I think that this is what being taught “how” to write really does – it steadies your hand and guides your motives not just on paper, but in life. It teaches a critical thinking that ensures cheque writing and safe sex become not the target but another arrow in your arsenal, guided by greater intent and purpose in your heart and mind.

So, in 2010 I chose to start not with a resolution but with a thesis statement, guided by body paragraphs and soul alike. In this year, dear bloggers, I will seek to be braver. I will do the things that I want to do, instead of believing that I can’t or worse, thinking I can so never trying at all and forgoing that accomplishment. I will take risks, arrows will fly at targets only previously imagined and usually quashed. Above all else, I will live with the grace and consciousness that comes with knowing I may fail at each and every task I undertake; but I will fail with aplomb, I will fail with style, I will fail with laughter and I will fail knowing that I tried my hardest.

I have a shit load of arrows to accomplish this with, in fact, I have 12 of them. 12 resolutions, one for each month, and they are most certainly not culmulative – at no point will I be cooking and blogging/vlogging one new recipe a week while taking music lessons and learning to cha cha. Some of them are big, some of them are small. But they are all sharp, they are all true, and they are aimed with a startling amount of ferocity and faith that only resolutions can possess. In the next couple of days I’ll let you in on them, but for now….

Here is to arrows.

Here is to aim.

xo

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January Mix Tape – All for Aught

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Darlings, in place of the New Years Resolution post that is tortorously and painfully coming along, I offer you the “All for Aught” Mix Tape, to celebrate the end of last year and the beginning of this one. The music, thankfully, has nothing to do with either. I will however reassure you that each mix will indeed include something from Otis Redding.

I know.

Thank me later.

xo

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